Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Listening In and Listening Up

I was reading Matthew's blog (Some Last Minute Things Before Knocking Off), and he raised the pertinent point of listening to people. In his recent blog, he asks us when was the last time that we have been really listening.

I have been giving the concept and skill of listening some deep thought. When I was unhurriedly completing the Ironman race last Saturday, I gave generous time to listening. No, not hearing - that is the ability to detect sounds from our external environment. Listening is about appreciating the nuances and subtleties of spoken communication (conversation) and also to our internal voices (self-talk).

Most of the time when people rant and rave about things, they are expressing their internal dialogue. This private and often secretive conversation with oneself covers a gamut of worry, concern, self-doubt, celebration and affirmation. As I was running down the finish chute, I had these self-talk:

'I hope that I have enough in the tank to run through the finish-line without stumbling...'
'I hope Mike Riley calls my name loudly and correctly...'
'I really want this medal and t-shirt really bad!'
'What will I eat in the race-tent afterwards?'

It is, essentially, a lot of noise mired with these monologues and secret soliloquys. I assure you I do pepper my self-talk with very colourful language at times; some for the benefit of myself, and some for others.

Despite these noisy chatter and opportunities for confusion. I also heard the roar of the supporters from start to end, the announcement that the Prime Minister of New Zealand would fire off the canon, strangers/would-be friends who cheered me on whilst addresssing me by name, the music near the end-point, encouragement from volunteers at the aid-stations, and the wind blowing on my head as I took the head-winds, face on.

I recall a beautiful line of a Hollywood film, where a weapon-totting protagonist asserts: 'Gentlemen, what we have is a failure to communicate!'

Communicate, by listening. Communicate by sharing. Communicate by having a productive conversation. Communicate by suspending your judgement (for a while). Communicate by not saying anything but by being there. Communicate with respect, recognition and reassurance. People can be grateful for these small things which translate into larger purpose.

Press on.

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