Lessons Learnt From Parents

There are absolute ‘rights and wrongs’ in life, and there is an even wider range of grey areas. Even laws and legislation change. The disparity in opinions engages unpleasant emotions, resentment and hatred. Opinions are far and wide; everybody has one. The Generation Gap (perceived or real) exists.

Parents want to be helpful. They, too, want to feel useful. In practice, many feel impotent when they face defiant teenagers and the Black Sheep of the family. They then panic, and seek advice from a wide variety of sources, and resources. This can add to the confusion, and accelerate the tensions.

When do you begin to formulate your wisdom? How do you know what you teach will be of value? Intention is powerful. It is a motivator of truth and relevance. How will you connect your wisdom with contemporary needs of a Generation Y, or Strawberry Generation? DEspite the dramas associated with parents and siblings, family is still Family!

Leadership Lessons: How would you teach Life Lessons to your children? How would you ensure that these lessons are heard? How would you attend to your children’s mistakes?

Which Character Stands Out?

A colleague of mine describes her online profile as the ‘ENFP’ type; which gives away a lot of information if you appreciate the relevance behind the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) profiling instrument. There is much to glean from a person’s operative manual if you appreciate ‘Personality Types’, preferences, motivations and styles.

A current online poll urges readers to vote for their favourite character in the current Marvel Studios (formerly Marvel Comics) film ‘The Avengers’. It stands, at this point in time, that the leaders are Ironman and ‘The Incredible’ Hulk. Hawk and Black Widow who are not superheroes rank at the bottom, whereas Loki (Thor’s adopted brother, Loki who possesses extra-terrestrial powers is also companion to the former two).

What defines a character? Which inventory of indicators or measurements fleshes out a fictitious or real character? I personally enjoyed Stark/Ironman who is human, excessively intelligence and artfully narcissistic. Here is a ‘superhero’ that is living on borrowed time (shrapnel near his heart that can move and kill him), who has experienced an epiphany, and is determined to pit his annoying intelligence, humongous wealth, and cutting-edge technology against the Bad Guys. Each superhero has his/her demons with a personal point to prove, while attempting to exorcise their demons through good deeds. Dr Banner/Hulk clearly has anger management issues and has utilized a plethora of strategies to prevent another ‘incident’ that can be punitive for the taxpayer and town council.

Leadership Lesson: When selecting and recruiting staff, what are your criteria of choice? How much of a person’s initial character matters to you? Which values of theirs are you attracted to? Can you clearly discern between confidence and arrogance? 

Do You Take Enough Of Such Nutrients?

In the sports of endurance, our body undergoes much physical and mental stress. Complete rest (mainly sleep) and full recovery is one of the major keys to progress and performance. Nutrition is the other crucial leg in the tripod of sporting performance, if we are to continue to improve and attain our personal bests. Longevity is the goal of many lifestyle athletes, as well as serious amateur athletes.

In these processed-food-dense times, there are 12 key nutrients that can help us retard the premature aging process. These include:

1)    Vitamin D

2)    Astaxanthin (from a microalgae)

3)    Ubiquinol (Co-enzyme Q10)

4)    Fermented foods/Probiotics

5)    Krill Oil

6)    Vitamin K2

7)    Magnesium

8)    Polyphenols

9)    Folate (Vitamin B9, or Folic Acid)

10) Vitamin B12

11) Curcumin (Tumeric)

12)Vitamin A

How many of these anti-aging nutrients are you consuming? How much of your foods are natural-based? How deliberate are you in reducing your processed food intake? Defy the hands of time, and reverse your chronological clock!

Toughest Course In The World This Year?

Would you risk it all, after spending months preparing for a race, for a race cursed with inclement weather? If this was your qualifier for the world championships in Kona, Hawaii would you want to take that chance? The odds may favour the brave. Nothing ventured nothing gained. One competitor's preference for weather can be another's bugbear.


Ironman St. George, Utah was one such tough race, with tougher racing conditions yesterday. 4-5 foot swells and 40mph winds confronted swimmers and cyclists in one of the most grueling racing conditions for the 226K triathlon. Hundreds did not make the cutoff swim time, or were misled into thinking that the swim-leg was cancelled. was it miscommunication by race officials, or wishful thinking on the participants' part? Under such trying conditions, where safety is tantamount to all parties on/in the water, the calls had to err on the side of caution. We can empathise with them for the rude surprise that awaited the fit triathletes on race morning. 


Having faced near-cancelled Ironman triathlons on three separate occasions, due to choppy water conditions as well as 'weather bombs' (gusts and gales), I can fully empathise with the upset participants. It is disappointing for participants to hear of a cancelled swim, or a modified course distance, or even a cancelled race. However, after the initial disappointment, distress and disgust over officials' decision, I was relieved when I realised how treacherous conditions were. When somebody gets injured or is involved in a fatality, it just dampens everyone's spirits. Nobody wishes ill of another competitor. A safe race is the ultimate outcome expected by organisers and participants. When organisers offered participants an alternative half-Ironman race the following day after the full race was cancelled at Ironman New Zealand 2012, most of us plunged into it. Ironman Korea 2006 cancelled its sea swim; Ironman NZ 2006 was modified into a 90K ride and 21K run. A race is still a race under the same banner and branded event.


We came to race, so why not? At the end of the day, we were thankful that we were got to test our mettle in many ways. Better safe than sorry. Live to race another day. I hope that the participants of IMSG will race the course again. Train and race safely, fellow athletes! 


Leadership Lessons: As a participant, what would you have chosen to do? As an official, what would be your call on the race? What would be your contingencies? What has your experience been like for a similar situation? Write and let us know. We would appreciate your thoughts on this very real issue. 

Congratulations Are In Order

It was a weekend of racing and remembrance.  The three major racing events were Ironman St. George, Ironman Busselton 70.3 and Ironman Australia.

Congratulations to Perth-based lawyer, John Cooke for completing Ironman Busselton 70.3 just weeks after his cycling accident. Rest assured, he did it with no incident, and is almost recovered.

Photo-credit: Tobias Frenz (Apparently, there are 2,000 fresh water crocodiles).

Congratulations to multiple-Ironman winner, Tobias Frenz for completing the 20km Lake Argyle swim in Australia. He completed it in a fast time of 6:30. 117 solo and team-swimmers competed in the 10km and 20km swim, in one of the most beautiful lakes in Australia.

Congratulations to Teo Ser Luck and Winston Koh for completing Ironman Australia/Port MacQuarie yesterday. Also, a big shout out to my buddies from Down Under: Paul McGlynn (10:58, 50-54 years), Soonchul Shin (11:16, 45-49 years, second Ironman finish) and ‘tc’ Campbell (60-64 years, almost-20 IM finishes, and with a persistent knee condition) for their finishes. The ride was hilly, thus making it tougher for some to earn a PB. There were some impressive wetsuit-assisted swim times.

It is the Spirit of Ironman that matters: To endure and stay the course, and knowing when to quit when it gets too risky. To train and be at the start-line matters as much as crossing the line. The many private moments spent training, defining, refining, and thinking about the race comprise the journey are the vested interests of each competitor/participant. It can be lonely and arduous at times, however these are treasured.

Yesterday, 100 cyclists showed up for the Memorial Ride of ‘Monty’ Maughan (father of Ironman finisher, Bernard) who passed away from a bike accident. He was training for the national Masters race. He was loved by the community and will be missed.

Comedy Is Serious Business!

Last night, I watched Russell Peters ‘live’ in concert. Other than a deejay on-stage, there was no musical performance. Only the sound of abundant laughter and applause emanated, in waves, from a sold-out arena called the Singapore Indoor Stadium. Touted as ‘RP: Some Material May Offend Your Heritage’, you had to prepare yourself to be suitably poked fun at, in a nice way of course. Sort of…

Almost every audience member would have been familiar with the Los Angeles-based, Indian-Canadian comedian whose YouTube comedy clips have garnered hits in the 100,000’s. Last night he entertained the international crowd with comical interpretations of cross-cultural differences. His opening act was a comedian from LA, who entertained us with his antics on local law and jokes with plenty of innuendoes. Sure, there was enough shocking moments when the occasional expletive was uttered, or a pleasurable private act was announced. Yet, we knew when to suspend our filters and allow the euphoria of the funny guide us.

Peters, who was on his ‘Notorious 2012 World Tour’, brought the house down right from the ‘get go’, and he did not disappoint. He did not rehash his old act, save for a few glimpses of his ‘Dad’ and the ‘Chinese retailer’ he promoted successfully in the last few years. Like the Internet, content is king. His verbal digs and commentary on contemporary and local issues made his performance more personalized, as he convinced us to relate to natural human behaviors and connect with them. It was a treat to see couples laugh with each other, especially on taboo topics best left for one’s privacy and space. That a stadium-full of people could openly laugh about our own private experiences put us at ease, just seated next to each other, regardless of creed or belief. Humour and comedy are powerful magnets that can attract and unite the oddest of couple, and the strangest of people.

It takes courage to tease a heterogenous audience, especially if the humour is based on teh sensitive tightrope of nationality or ethnicity. Peters is very comfortable taking the mickey out of himself, and even more so with other nationalities he has come into close contact with. He revealed that he was recently divorced, yet the proud father of an infant daughter. Vignettes of new wisdom threaded his comedy, as one can vouch that ‘art imitates life’, and the other way round. To lead with the language of comedy is a reflection of talent, genius and risk-taking.

Somebody’s gonna get hurt real bad! Well, at least with your funnybone. It seems that there are still tickets for his 11 May show at Stadium Malawati in Kuala Lumpur. Be a man – do the right thing!

And They Had To Introduce Aliens!

I am annoyed with sci-fi film plots that border on the ludicrous; and there are several genres and sub-genres masquerading as each other. Science fiction utilizes science as it foundation, while bringing to life such possibilities (and realities) as robots (‘I, Robot’), genetic mutations (‘X-Men’ and ‘The Fly’), and re-animation (‘Frankenstein’ and ‘Jurassic Park’). Sure, it has been postulated by our most brilliant scientific minds in history that there is more than a remote chance (read: plausible) of extra-terrestrial life within our universe. When Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI) was launched, sending out a continuous blast of signals into the vastness of outer space, we may receive a message one day – eventually, or until funds get restored.

I liked the work of M. Night Shyamalan (of ‘Sixth Sense’ fame), until it deteriorated in plot into the alien genre. ‘Signs’ was a sign of a depleted story bank account. He could have stop at water-fairies, invincible humans and xenophobia, but no – he had to introduce aliens! Yet, this film was his career salve at $400 million in worldwide box-office receipts.

And he had to introduce aliens!

If a film revolved around aliens as the main character or theme, I would be fine with it. However, we know the producers, director and screenwriter are pushing it (and punishing us) when they have to introduce aliens into the story. So, most of us sci-fi heads welcomed films like ‘ET – The Extra-Terrestrial’, ‘Alien’, ‘Alien versus Predator’, ‘Super-8’, ‘Men In Black’, ‘The Andromeda Strain’, ‘Cocoon’, ‘Transformers’ and ‘War of The Worlds’. On television, we had ‘V’, ‘Falling Skies’ and ‘Alien Nation’.

In the recent blockbuster ‘Battleship’, we knew we had no fleeting chance of gunning the aliens down, because they had far more superior weaponry and protection systems. Yet, we prevailed as President Morgan Freeman announced. In ‘Battle: Los Angeles’, a small military unit surprises the aliens with its combat effectiveness; not after the ETs thrashed the City of Angels and did a massive population audit. Small but deadly is the name of the comeback kid. You need not operate in large numbers to kick butt with aliens.

In these films, the aliens wanted resources such as water (Battle: LA) or were killed by it (‘Signs’). These enemies were interested in pilfering and pillaging Earth, and eventually dominate it. In most of these films, humans triumphed not because we were smarter (although we’d like to think it) but because we sought salvation through earthly elements that annihilated these creatures, or bored them to death. In Signs, it was water that did ET in. In others, it could be the common cold virus. In ‘Independence Day’, we hacked them to death with a computer virus. Seriously! Since when did we write the black-hat code for ET’s mainframe computers?

You cannot beat aliens and ghosts (‘The Outsiders’ and ‘Ghost’ were very good films). What will they think of next? Ghostly aliens, or alien ghosts?

And they had to introduce aliens! Please give us back ‘ALF’, ‘Mork & Mindy’ and the ‘X-Files!’

The Day The Writing Ended…

‘A long long time ago

I can still remember how

That music used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my chance

That I could make those people dance

And maybe they'd be happy for a while

But February made me shiver

With every paper I'd deliver

Bad news on the doorstep

I couldn't take one more step

I can't remember if I cried

When I read about his widowed bride

But something touched me deep inside

**The day the music died**’ ~ Don McLean

Dennis captured a shot of this cantankerous monkey swinging from a coconut tree.

My elder cousin, Dennis Varella passed away early this week. It was a sudden and unexplained. I was teaching a class in Saudi Arabia, when my expatriate cousin sent me a text message on his demise. I was stunned, however I had to brave on and continue teaching.

A few months ago, he stopped sending out his weekly e-mails. He would share his childhood memories, filled with wonder, joy and sorrow. It read like an interactive history lesson, yet filled with family value and a notion of ‘the good old days’. He was attending to his convalescing mother during that time, traveling from west to east daily. I was keen to read them every time I received them. His wife Lemar shared with me how he would dedicatedly read my daily blog almost everyday. For this, I am touched for I have borrowed some of Dennis’s photographs. He also creatively produced interactive multimedia presentations of his research on family history. There will be a screening of some of these films at this Sunday's memorial - which will be a day of joyful remembrance.

I will miss this writer’s musings, yet I will still have a treasure trove of beautiful memories to relish when I like. Rest in peace, dear cousin.

The Discipline of Doing

Doing is done. I quoted this before, and I re-quote it now.
Discipline is relevant when you are performing. If you wish to engage in values like quality, discernment and commitment, you will have to do the necessary and the needful. Discipline involves processes, methodology and mindset before we can earn the results we seek.
I attempt to write everyday, and that is challenging especially when I am deeply involved in projects or am overseas. Having returned less than two hours ago from an overseas gig, I am writing this out (while editing and enhancing it) 'live', without the usual 'think, plan, write, cut then paste' strategy. This month marks exactly three continuous years of blogging, learning, innovation, and building synergistic collaborations with many interviewees and readers. I am thankful for my position in the universe of content, and more content. Content is king, and I am dedicating one more year to better material, stories, multi-media, and sharing. I like to thank Keith DeLarue for getting me started on online conversations through Twitter and blogging. Here, Keith shares his experience working with the '140-character report'.
Have a great week all.

Re-sizing & Sizing Things Up

How small can we be? In the larger universe, we pale in size in comparison to the infinitesimal vastness of space, its galaxies and constellations. Is our universe expanding? If so, we are far smaller still. We are analogous to plankton in an ocean. Yet, plankton is a critical organism in how oceans stay fresh and sustainable to other creatures – large or small.

Yet, in the other order of things within our immediate system, we can have meaning and purpose. We can size up our situations so that things appear more complex or simple, intricate or gross, larger or smaller. Death can stop all these comparison immediately. Impending death from disease can nudge us into submission or competition. We can fight the disease or surrender to it. We have choices, and how we choose to exercise them determines our place and position in the inner universe of our mind and spirit.

Our time on this earth determines what we are capable of doing. What we do defines us. As Gandhi alluded: ‘Our positive thoughts translate into emotions into actions into habits into values and into our destiny.’ We are capable of shaping our thoughts into useful ones, which in turn guide us through to our behaviors towards others.

Think of what you can do in each moment. If you have the power to change one thing, what would that be? What would you do differently the next moment? Do we watch the world go by? Or, do we be come participants in it? See the change. Be the change. Change.

The enormity of what we can do, can be dazzling. Do what you have to do. Re-size your efforts. Maximize your vision.