Saturday, July 3, 2010

The Learned Language of Empathy

Ironman Triathlete blogger, Teo Hui Koon wrote that his students (Generation Y) expressed the term ‘emo-ing’ as displays of emotional outbursts. These expressions of our internal energy are a natural extension of our personality and attitude. How you feel at any one time determines how you will behave.

Emotions buoy our words; they lift our influence up. They give density to our words, and enhance it through our tonality. Tonality and words comprise 45% of total face-to-face communication. Shifting tones have a direct impact on our conscious and unconscious parts of our mind. You can test this out with the following exercise: recite the following question, several times with emphasis of a different word each time.

Who will help me?

As you focus on each word, the attention shifts to another dimension of the question. Influence with your tonality.

The language of empathy requires a feeling word (emotion) and the appropriate tone. Empathy involves the words feeling, feel, felt and emotional words.

Create a list with as many words describing various types of emotions: angry, sad, ecstatic, happy, enthusiastic, eager, anxious, excited, nervous, etc.

The next time you wish to relate to another person at the deeper level of emotions, include empathy and emotional words. Emote. Be emotional, yet in control.

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