Ended Relationships in Endurance Sports: The Ultimate Sacrifice?

Do endurance sports and marriages mix? 

John Cook blogged about this yesterday and, interestingly, I have been thinking about my observations over the years. Is there a scientific or statistical correlation to this? If you are squeamish or in denial, stop reading now!

I, personally, know of more than a handful of friends and acquaintances (doing endurance sports seriously) that have suffered the loss of a marriage in recent years. I believe that this is a painful process, yet it may release both parties from a challenging, long-term proposition. Whether this is a pattern of not remains to be seen…

Endurance sports can take its toll two counts. On the one hand, the endurance athlete may succumb to injury, sickness, chronic fatigue or death resulting from accident (through the sport). On the other, the spouse may feel neglected, ignored, misplaced or suspicious about the partner. It does not help that youthful looking people surrounded you with their sterling physical appearance! On the flip side, these very prized bodies are also not particularly appealing after they cross the finishing-line, for they are wrapped in a spray of mucous, sweat, sports drink, and residual sea-water. Thanks, but no thanks! And, by the way – regardless of gender – nobody sparkles, except a horse. Instead, we endurance athletes sweat and stink – and that’s the honest truth!

In defence of endurance athletes, I am aware that most who arise early to train may be suffering from sleep deprivation, caffeine-infused consciousness, inner civil conflict (‘should I train, or should I sleep?’), and in no way headed for a place of ill repute (well, not at a few hours to peak-hour traffic). The fact is that, upon completing an hour or two of cycling or running, or a session at the pool you still have to go to work. The burst of adrenaline and endorphins may be useful for a few hours, before you succumb to post-workout fatigue. The idea of breakfast at your work-desk may not be such an enticing idea; perhaps, showering at the workplace bathroom, might.

Some well-intentioned pedestrians and observers may suggest the notion of work-life balance, however I disagree. Here, I discreetly borrow Jack Welch’s (of GE fame) approach to corporate life: work-life choice. Choose. In most cases, when training for a major race, our personal goals become our point of focus in our corporeal life. We may be possessed by, and be obsessed with the idea of completing a longer endurance race, or achieving a faster timing. Something will have to give. It may mean less sleep, or earlier to bed. It may translate to training within a prescribed schedule, or whatever time permits. It may be subject to exigencies, emergencies or an Act of God. It may be for 16-20 weeks of the year where you go maniacal, and for the rest of the year you imitate the lifestyle of a Sloth or Koala Bear, and build up enough fat for prolonged hibernation.

Endurance training and racing need not be the ultimate show of sacrifice to oneself, and to others. Live life fully. Live it. Be livid. Believe it.