Macho Observations By Endurance Athletes

Disclaimer: Not to be taken too seriously, especially if you were surreptitiously mentioned. Take this piece as a parody or satire, without the Mad Magazine foldout picture surprise on the inside back cover page or compromising, posed, photographs in over-21 year only glad-rags.

Here were some ‘No-No’s’ that my conversations with triathletes yielded yesterday. These were more amusing than of major concern. What do you think?

1)    Long compression socks that remind us of the Harajuku schoolgirls on Glico Pocky TVCs of bygone days. Swimming with compressions socks? Soggy fabric, however space-aged it is, may not be fully effective. Trust my bespoke tailor's knowledge of cloth and cutting.

2)    Fully-decked out in compression-wear/suits that suggests to us that we have superheroes walking/running among us. We are not referring to our much-respected ultra-marathoners.

3)    Two-piece, mid-riff-bare, tri-suits. So wrong if you need a shave down South (to your Downtown Line).

4)    Crippled runners who have knee-braces/straps holding their knees together. If you’re injured, please rest. Do RICES. See a sports-medicine doctor. You are running on a house of cards!

5)    Pink, powder-pink or shocking pink – not a colour of choice for multi-disciplined endurance, male athletes. Ladies - you look great in almost any combination of colours.

6)    Aero-helmets worn the wrong way: Angry Birds in disguise?

7)    I am waiting for bike-mechanics to change my flat tyre! Self-reliance is the way to go.

8)    Luminous, green, Speedo swimming trunks: Rarely seen these days, but I predict it may make a strong comeback to pit against the speed-suits. This may be the next trendsetter complete with gaping holes and groin-rash and abrasions. Ouch!

TGIF: 20 Things That You’ll Do Once In Your Lifetime*

1)    Bungy jump from a bridge (literally, jump off a bridge).

2)    Parachute from a plane in tandem.

3)    Ride a unicycle or pogo-stick (or was it a unicorn?).

4)    Win it big in a lottery (wishful thinking?).

5)    Go to Disneyland or a similar theme park for adults.

6)    Participate in a marathon (running, films, dancing).

7)    Eat a 12-course meal that includes creatures that used to walk, crawl or slither.

8)    Have a huge hangover (too much Red Bull and coffee) and live to regret it (and do it all over again).

9)    Get married in Las Vegas (or more often, if you need the practice).

10) Phone in sick, after you watched a marathon of films.

11) Burn a candle at both ends (?).

12) Eat hot tom yum soup in Phuket (the way locals love it) before your triathlon race.

13) Swim with the sharks without being eaten alive.

14) Swim in the sea during jellyfish season, and live to tell.

15) Write your book.

16) Take part in the Amazing Race. Get your partner to do the physical challenges, while you do the food challenges.

17) Ride on a wild animal.

18) Go white-water rafting.

19) Seat yourself in First Class of your favourite airline (upgrades allowed).

20) Join a secret society (but you can't tell anyone).

*This is a partial parody. Therefore, this is not to be taken too seriously. However, should you wish to consider any one of these suggestions, then what you will seriously do to ensure that it happens?

Leadership Lessons: It would be nice to joke about things. However, when a seed of suggestion has been planted, then it may germinate into a possibility. Possibility requires the fertile soil of purpose and planning to grow into reality. If you read about the parable of the seeds, you would be reminded of how environmental conditions matter if you want to ensure success in initiating and engaging things.