Giving Does Not Mean Giving Up!

After my piece yesterday on ‘giving’, Matthew wrote his feedback on my Comments page. He decided to write his own thoughts about the concept of ‘giving’. I appreciate his honest sharing as we thrive on feedback, especially if it guides us to become better – like refining our swim strokes so as to swim efficiently and faster.

We can give without aforethought, lest it be misconstrued as reciprocity. If we expect something in return for every deed we do for somebody, then this may easily be perceived as ‘wanting something in return’. This suggests a ‘hidden agenda’ or ‘assisting with a purpose’. Sure, some believe in this principle, and marketers are exploiting it when they offer freebies. Robert B. Cialdini also expressed this principle in his landmark book.

Generosity is a personal value; it is the opposite of being selfish and holding on to things. Generous people derive pleasure from sharing, helping and giving – they gain when they surrender a small part of themselves. Thus, on this platform (blog) we tend to do active cross-sharing with other resources. We interview people of distinction, review books and films, provide commentaries, and share our perspectives (through Tweets, articles and stories). There is no one right answer to a problem; there might be several. By merging or crossing ideas, we may encourage cross-fertilisation or the emergence of a better, hybrid idea.

While watching the television program called ‘The Doctors’ this morning, I learnt a new acronym for keeping heart disease in check. Dr Vonda Wright, MD wrote in her book, Fitness After 40 her acronym FACE that stands for: Flexibility, Aerobics, Carry a Load/Core, and ‘E’ which you can find out on your own – or even construct your own. The reality is: if you give away everything, the perceived value can also diminish. FREE may be view with suspicion because we believe that it may conceal a ‘catch’. Some have articulated that ‘If it is too good to be true, then it is too good to be true!’ It is merely a caveat, however it is useful to be vigilant when it comes to financial transactions and potential business partnerships.

Leadership Lessons: Feel free to apply the learning on this blog. There are few things that compare with the joy of learning, and a sense of achievement. Do give deeper thought on how you can apply the notion of ‘giving’: Give back, give up, give out (project), give, and forgive. Just give!

What Makes You Think I Owe You?

I was reading, Shade’s blog – he is a secondary school teacher with excellent sleight of hand skills in magic, particularly with playing cards. He wrote a pertinent piece about how young magicians would approach him and insist (if not demand) that he teach them magic methods. I agreed with his observation that these neophytes have little respect for the Art, for I think people have reduced their respect for other people’s time and expertise.

I call this the ‘You owe me’ mindset.

What makes us ‘owe’ you? Isn’t that about obligation? When somebody says ‘much obliged’, it has a different meaning to ‘obligated to you’. Do we need to be obligated to anyone? What about the notions of ‘paying back what I owe you’ and ‘paying the debt’? Why should it be ‘you owe me’?

The attitude employed by those with differing values – mainly, obligation – owes itself to the fact that the perpetrators of obligation have a reciprocal, but imbalanced approach to returning the favour. It is the ‘I help, but you owe me, and need to pack me back in full, and then some’ mindset that rattles the chains of generous persons. Generosity of spirit is about one’s willingness to assist without thought of reciprocity otherwise, generosity has an ulterior motive.

In Guy Kawasaki’s ‘Enchantment’, he suggested that when the Law of Reciprocity (as studied by Robert B. Cialdini, PhD) is applied, no expectation should be considered. If you expect something in return for helping somebody, then it is not true helpfulness or generosity.

Another angle of this ‘con’ is that ‘I am in the know’ therefore you should share. In our magic clubs, this mindset prevails and amateur magicians who have not spent time in the trenches believe that those who came before them are obligated to share everything of value to them – such as secrets. I find this annoying and useless for little is to be gained when information is freely dished about. Unless you pay for something, you won’t fully appreciate its true value.

The same goes for ‘coaches’ who willingly share their skills and applied experience with new endurance athletes. Educators (including coaches and mentors) do not expect anything in the way of payment, but are amply rewarded when students learn and fully apply themselves to building their potential. Teach, or hoard knowledge – there are no two ways to this deal. Dubious teachers will exploit knowledge and information which is not theirs to give. Their claims of expertise and professionalism will implode when their values surface to reveal their true selves. Mind you, it would be nice to reciprocate for these generous teachers and coaches however you do it out of the goodness of your heart. Parasites die when they over-feast on their hosts.

In the professional world, such unfair leverages exist. Arms are twisted into submission because assistance is seen as a ploy, leverage point, pressure point, and the creation of strategic relationships. It all boils down to one’s values. What do you stand for? What do you value in your relationships?  Do you give more than you take?

How about moving from ‘owe’ to ‘give’? Give willingly, or not. If it is not yours to take, stop asking for it!

Bravery in the Face of Charity

Major Kelly Lim braved inclement weather and a temperamental terrain, to achieve 150km after 30 hours of running. Having done a meagre 52.5km myself last Sunday's ultramarathon, I salute Major Lim for her concrete courage. Her posture of determination yielded about $24,000 worth of donations to a worthy cause. I encourage you to consider making a small donation, to give her enduring attempt additional momentum, as she nurses her injuries as a result of a punitive regime yesterday. She is still short of her goal of raising $50,000.00 to charity. This poster appeared on her blog today, and give it some thought and pass the message on. If we phrase the message right, it is about the values of generosity, consideration and care that endear ourselves to, in a national-level collaboration.

The Future Will Set You Free

Here is a challenge on your creativity. What do you think of the following idioms?

The best things in life are free. It is better to give than to receive.

Chris Anderson’s book, FREE may have caused a stir for its radical thesis on a new price index: free. He proposes a fairly strong argument for giving things away, literally, for free.

Here is recent evidence of a free-orientated approach to business and branding: Irish pop band, U2 ‘live streaming’ concert on 26 October 2009 was watched by nearly 7,000,000 fans. The concert at California’ Pasadena Rose Bowl was posted on the Internet via YouTube. U2 was one of the first major bands to stream a concert live for free of their 360 Degrees Tour. When the concert concluded, thousands of fans left messages of support on the video-sharing website. The entire show will be repeated on YouTube at a later date.

Free webinars (web seminars) by software companies. For example, Mind Manager 8 for designing mind maps.

Sports drink company, Infinit, offers an online design of your preferred sports drink profile. You design the composition of nutrients that goes to your ‘one custom’ drink, flavour, and taste. You then have an option to buy a sample of this at an affordable cost.

Traditional, yet effective are the provision of free samples. Who doesn’t love a freebie, now and then? As long as there is no catch. Filling a short form may be the price you pay. A few minutes of your time, and a little information about yourself and your buying preferences: that is what is involved for you – the freebie receiver. We may have participated, as freeware users, in the beta testing of new and emerging software. Subsequently, you may be approached for an upgrade to a better version, should you intend to pay a small fee.

Is nothing for free? Microsoft Windows Vista, automatically, downloads ‘patches’ for its end-users at no charge. Likewise, anti-virus software from Norton and McAfee also notify us of updates for innoculating our PCs from a virulent and infectious world of spam, Trojans, viruses and worms.

Anderson provides many examples, from small businesses to mega-corporations. He also describes how larger corporations took the lead from small businesses and online businesses, to review how free can free up their businesses from the encumbrances of more discerning consumers.

In a nutshell, free can enhance your brand with the release of values called generosity, reciprocation, appreciation, care and loyalty. Some may actually pay for a better version for your product, while others may be satisfied with your free version, and others will pay premium for your best. So, free may not be absolutely free. There are terms and conditions to consider. The small print, however lengthy and thorough, is still binding.

So, is free silly? You can still receive a copy of my e-book THE SUCCESS STRATEGIES OF WORLD-CHAMPIONS. It is free.