Sell, Not Tell When You Are Speaking

Having taught over 20 years in at least 19 countries, I have heard many perceptions about my business, as well that of others. Some are spot-on, precise and accurate. Others are well off the mark into the stratosphere of ignorance and obliviousness. Again, perception is reality for humans. Rene Descartes said, ‘ I think, therefore I am.’

Often, I have heard friends, acquaintances and even clients remark that speaking is simple. Interestingly, the challenge would be to marry simplicity with ease (easiness). In practice, not all simple things are easy to do. Anyone can play the violin – badly. An aspiring musician asked a veteran musician, ‘How do I get to the Esplanade Music Hall?’ His answer: ‘Practice, practice and practice!’

I am not a full-time speaker, and I know many who belong to the national speakers’ association. I operate on a different wavelength, leveraging on my expertise in leadership, languages, and love for life. It is a fact some draw huge fees for their presentations (PowerPoint slides and a wireless microphone) on one major achievement. Yet, to be able to speak with the influence and impact so desired by the booking agents and clients require these aspects of credibility. This weekend, I spent a few days as a student with Sheila Taormina – 4-time Olympian, Olympics gold-medalist swimmer, swim coach, author and motivational speaker – and learnt that delightful personal values makes her an asset to the organizations and clients she serves.

1)    Speaking is about creating influence through a sharing experience. Influencing is how you lead others, and position yourself as a leader.

2)    You need to make sense and talk sense. Nonsense has no place on the stage. Apply uncommon sense to creating a session for your audience.

3)    You need to build a resume of expertise, education, and engagements. Completes some personal challenges. Build a list of your achievements, accomplishments and experiences (rest assured, nobody can take these away from you).

4)    Both introverts and extraverts make effective speakers. Talkative and unfocused speakers will often lose their audience. Silence on-stage is suicidal.

5)    Self-indulgence, self-aggrandisement and over-indulgence in one’s ego are not topics that many care for. Talk about things that matter to people.

6)    You need to develop exquisite presentational skills through constant practice and honest feedback from others.

7)    Tell stories that matter. Recognise as many people as you can. Draw upon people who inspire you (there must be hundreds).

8)    Have a few anchor speeches that you have delivered. Over-exposure of the exact talk can be dulling to your audience: vary your content, however stick to familiar things.

Leadership Lessons: Credibility is necessary or you would be perceived as lacking the credits, and substance. Over-indulgence of your resume’s design may lead others to question your incredulity. Moving from credible to incredible is about being inquisitive, involving your self with experts, and investing time in improving yourself. Build a manifesto of the cause you believe in, and develop eagle-eyed focus on it. Be a beacon of hope and inspiration if you are to be a motivational speaker, telling stories that others relate to.

Give More Ka-Pow With the Power of Wow!

Conventional wisdom and practice suggests that we ‘catch people doing wrong’. That’s right – pounce on them when they commit errors, err, and live their erroneous ways. Right?

There are ways. Seek the road that leads to your results, or take the road less travelled. Blame and shame, are two ways; proclaim and name, are another two ways. One empowers, while the other robs you of your enthusiasm, motivation and eagerness to perform better.

How do we empower people? Empower means ‘to give power’. How much empowerment have you given lately? Empowerment requires that we give up part of our authority and still retain the responsibility. We do not absolve ourselves of the responsibility – comes with the title and role.

Do like what two-time cancer survivor, Sean Swarner did – empower yourself through others!

Perhaps, encourage others through their performance may be just as useful. Here are several ways to do it:

1)    Write a recognition note with a specific example (evidence of feedback).

2)    Post a story of what your team did well on your company’s intranet. Most intranet portals are under-utilised and, predictably, become digital white horses through time. Apply positive Facebook enthusiasm when you post.

3)    Submit a report of the success story in your corporate newsletter; twist your editor’s arm to get the story in. Make a pitch for space. Print newsletters have a certain permanence that online versions don’t.

4)    Spread a success story over the social media platform: tweet, blog, or submit a Facebook announcement.

5)    Give a WOW-cher (voucher) today! That is a special note that announces to the person what you appreciate about them. Allow them to trade that note for a gift.

6)    Re-gift. Give somebody a present of an unused item (not things you intend to toss out). Avoid returning them their gift to you.

The downside of a lack of recognition extends to former-champions and national sports athletes who have been ignored after injury prematurely ended their career.

Leadership Lesson: Take care of others who have provided and assisted, in our past. Be grateful for small things. No small gesture of kindness is too small to be ignored. Demonstrate your sense of gratitude to another person.

Stories from Las Canarias to Warm Your Cockles

We love stories. Millions of copies of Chicken Soup for the Soul book franchise have been sold. These are some videos on the Big Race in Lanzarote, the Canary Islands. The winners Rachel Joyce and Timo Bracht are seen at the end point. There is also Race Director, Kenneth Gasque who welcomes everybody in with a handshake.

By the way, 25 May was World Planking Day. Time to start this interesting core stability test back home! Assume the position! But please avoid anything higher than 30 centimetres. John, this is for you! You keep planking, and I’ll keep plonking.

The 20^th edition of Ironman Lanzarote 2011 presented many heart-warming stories through its bastion of athletes. These are some of them. 

If you are in town next weekend, do attend Nique Tan's show. This is interactive, amazing, mind-reading by Singapore's leading mentalist. I strongly recommend his show. You will be enchanted.

Leadership Lessons: When was the last time you held your audience captivated with your stories? How much do you observe and return in recognition? How often do you give praise and thanks to those around you?

Stories of the Everyday Person

Initially, I wrote ‘Everyday Man’ and realized that it could be construed as being politically incorrect. I find it annoying that these standards of communication are not universal, nor serve their purpose in people openly expressing themselves. Instead, we continue to hide behind phrases and find excuses to keep quiet. I find it sad that we are perceived as being unassertive and non-opinionated.

Many of our readers are Everyday People. The person on the street! However, you may be hiding your other identity of the Weekend Warrior, or Elite Age-Grouper. If you show up to support, next Sunday’s Aviva Singapore 70.3 Ironman Triathlon will feature many of these participants: weekend versions of G.I Joes and G.I. Janes: their aliases being numbers in bold typeface, and swimming, riding and running to their own sense of achievements. Those who stand on the podium will have a shot at competing in the 70.3 World Championships in September in the new venue: Las Vegas.

How would you feel if you are requested to share your experiences and skills of your hobbies? Most of us excel in our hobbies, since these are stoked by our passion and effort. Even if you have not won a prize in competition, does that limit you from spreading your passion and ‘paying it forward’ to others? Will you listen closely to a natural and talented athlete, as you will somebody like yourself with similar goals and beginnings? If Mr Everyday Person succeeds and exceeds, why not pay heed to her?

In endurance sports, there are the elite age-groupers, and the elitist groups. Instead of being disenchanted about them, what about joining them or enlisting their expertise? I am sure that they would enjoy the recognition. Train with the best, and compete with the best. Go long. Go strong.

The Spooky Art of Writing

One learns much from the process of writing, and thinking about writing. Eleven months after starting this three-year personal challenge of continuous blogging, I have learnt much about the craft of writing. Having written fulltime and freelance, I can attest that writing professionally can be very challenging. You have to be very organised and clear in the business, and passion can only carry you so far. Your tools are your words and your stories – two reliable anchors that can get you started on your journey on this quirky and creative profession.

The late-Norman Mailer wrote in ‘The Spooky Art’ on his trial and tribulations of writing. He drew upon his fifty years of writing experience and writes about the writer’s craft. Mailer explored, among other topics, the attractions and limitations of non-fiction, the relevance of work habits and discipline, the pitfalls of early success, and the dire business of coping with bad reviews. But perhaps the most enthralling parts of this readable book is when he takes on his fellow writers, living and dead: Melville, Faulkner, Hemingway, Henry Miller, Updike, Roth, Vonnegut, Garcia Marquez, Bellow, Styron, Beckett, and a host of others including Mark Twain, D.H. Lawrence, and Toni Morrison.

Mailer wrote, 'I believe I could end up as a good critic because I know so much about novel writing by now. I can always tell when someone is drawing sustenance out of his or her best vein and when the needle missed.'

I hope I have not missed too many of my intravenous attempts to hit the spot, with you – dear readers! What are the lessons you learnt as you write? We send hundreds of e-mails and text messages every month, respond to blogs, and give our opinions and critiques. The message is in your communication.

A quick survey of some participants at last weekend’s race yielded the following facts about their objectives:

1) To race for the experience

2) To race first-time in a lengthened format

3) To race for a personal best time

4) To assess how their body holds up after a recent race

5) To seriously qualify for a podium finish

6) To qualify for the world championships

Each objective has a story to tell. Interview the participants. Write about it. There may be more than meets the eye and ears, and our sensibilities.